Happiness, surprise, sadness, fear, anger are basic emotions. That lead us to archaic mechanisms of action, such as the attack, the paralysis or the flight.
Feeling emotions is what makes our life rich.
Daniel goleman
Feelings have been dismissed, and consequently we have learned to block them and delete them. Some people feel vulnerable or weak with emotions. And they avoid anything that makes them insecure or takes power away from them.
We do not know how to manage emotions. We do not know that embracing our emotions or concerns is safe, deep down we are paralyzed with fear of them.
Therefore, we are unable to communicate effectively what happens inside us. Instead of accepting our negative feelings and understanding them, we hide them waiting for them to disappear.
What are our emotions for?
Emotions can be our great teachers, if we give them the attention they deserve. When we process them we learn to empathize, to love ourselves and to love others.
An emotion does not cause pain. Resistance or suppression of an emotion causes pain.
Frederick dodson
And to heal our family history we need to understand our emotions and feelings, they are part of our being. In it there is a powerful energy that pushes us to life.
When you start to embrace and accept your emotions, your emotions. You will understand them and only then will you put together the pieces of your past that have made you who you are. And you will start to heal.
Luz Rodriguez
Developing emotional intelligence (EI) is essential. In fact, it is said that a person with this type of intelligence is much more successful than someone with a high intellectual coefficient (IQ).
Emotional intelligence What does it consist of?
Emotional intelligence is a vital factor in the success of a person's professional, social and interpersonal relationships.
It is not about erasing the negative emotions that certain events can cause us, but about reducing their intensity.
Jonathan Garcia Allen
It is our ability to perceive, manage, identify and evaluate emotions or feelings to reach the desired result.
Aspects of emotional intelligence:
- Identify our emotions
- Identify other people's emotions
- Ability to efficiently control our emotions
- Achieve a pleasant, positive and rewarding result
Imagine how much your personal relationships can improve by developing these aspects. The interesting thing about the IE is that it is not pre-established, but that can be developed.
Little IE Features
- Take things personally
- Blaming other people or circumstances for what happens to you
- Not accept our flaws
- Be reactive
- Make excuses for not performing to your best potential
- Little motivation
- Bad personal relationships
- Succumbing to emotional urges
- Stress, anxiety and depression
EI Model by Daniel Goleman
- Self-awareness: ability to identify emotions and feelings as we feel them. It allows you to recognize what you are feeling. You can only work with your emotions or control them when you identify what you feel and its subsequent impact.
- Self-regulation: control impulsive thoughts and acts and show more creative thinking, integrity, accepting responsibility for our actions and adapting and managing change effortlessly.
- Empathy: Ability to put oneself in the shoes of the other. It is the ability to understand another even if you do not agree with that person.
- Social skills: Collaboration, leadership, conflict management, etc.
EI and ability model (Mayer and Salovey)
- Recognition of emotions: Identify verbal and non-verbal clues
- Identify or use emotions to facilitate intellectual activity: Using emotions to find solutions
- Understanding emotions: We develop a better understanding of why people feel what they are feeling.
- Regulating emotions: It is the ability to manage or control other people's emotions by responding appropriately to them.
As you can see, both models tell us about self-awareness as a way to manage our emotions.
How to increase Self-awareness?
- Record of your feelings. How do you feel and where do these feelings come from?
- Use the knowledge of your emotions constructively and positively to achieve what you want
- List of all your strengths and limitations
- Make a list of each role that you fulfill in your daily life. What emotions do you feel in each role? How would you describe your experience in each role?
- Identify and label emotions. Labeling or naming your feelings makes them easier to identify and work with. Give it personal and creative names
- Resist the urge to improve your emotions. You don't always have to correct your emotions. The idea is to identify them and let them pass without being controlled. Uncategorized as good or bad. If an unpleasant emotion comes to you, give yourself a few minutes to breathe. We treat emotions as something that has to be rejected. Emotions carry powerful messages if one tunes in objectively rather than judging them.
- Recognize recurring emotional patterns. For example, how anger, helplessness, etc. is triggered. when fear consumes us we are interpreting an external stimulus or a trigger as a threat.
- Observer position. Distance yourself from your feelings, this gives the process greater objectivity. You can speak in the third person.
- Identify emotions based on physiological reactions. Numb limbs (pain). Increased limbs (anger). Disgust (throat, chest, digestive system) Fear and surprise (sensation in the chest)
- Remain receptive to criticism. Stop thinking that others are attacking you. Accept criticism as arguments for improvement.
- Use your emotional data effectively. Instead of criticizing yourself, use your feelings to learn more about yourself and others.
- Practice mindfulness. Be present in every moment, without thinking about what is coming in the future or what is left behind in the past.
How to regulate your emotions?
- Talk about your emotions
- Avoid becoming a victim of negative thoughts
- Focus on your strengths
- Choose your battles wisely
- Show kindness and compassion
- Accept what cannot be changed
- Use a combination of logic and emotions to make critical decisions
Expressing your emotions With LuzIA, you will be able to increase your self-awareness and develop your emotional intelligence. So that you can establish healthy relationships both with yourself and with everyone around you.