Nadia was happy with her partner, suddenly she was paralyzed. He felt a strong hole in his heart. It was a strange feeling of emptiness that left her paralyzed. She didn't know what to say, suddenly everything in front of her disappeared and terrifying shadows appeared in their place. Who drew strange figures on the wall.
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What is fear?
Fear is a pain or disorder caused by the presence of the image of a bad future. Contrary to fear is trust, which is the feeling of the proximity of something that makes us feel safe and away from all danger.
San Agustin
We have all felt at some time in our life, that our breath is cut off, and we become rigid. Fear takes us away from our common sense, prevents us from having a cool head when we need it most.
Fear is an alarm system that our brain activates when it detects a possible threat. If a threat is unspecific and inescapable, we speak of anxiety. And fear is a helpful and adaptive response that involves changes in physiology, thoughts, and behavior.
Nadia observed a doubtful gesture on her partner, when she asked him if the wanted. He was silent and instead of answering her. She told him that she knew the answer. Right away, it came to her mind that at any moment he would leave her and be left alone and broken inside..
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Without the natural instinct of fear, the human species would not have survived through time. But in our current world, things or situations are feared, which should not arouse that feeling.
The natural consequence of fear is flight from danger. This has allowed our ancestors to survive.
When a person is in a threatening situation, the fight / flight reaction, an archaic behavior program, is activated. The brain secretes adrenaline (an action hormone), which increases the heart rate and body temperature. The muscles tense and we breathe faster.
The whole body is in a state of alert to react quickly if necessary. Depending on the situation, the response may be one of confrontation or escape. The effect of adrenaline is short-lived. There are other hormones, such as cortisol, that activate the metabolism, giving the body energy for longer.
Where does this fear come from?
"Who is not afraid, has no fantasy"
Many of our fears derive from our imaginative strength. We exaggerate the possible dangers and we remain paralyzed.
Fear originates in our limbic brain, specifically in the amygdala, insula, dorsal anterior cingulate, and prefrontal cortex. And it remains inactive until the slightest signal is triggered and activated. It is like a kind of alarm system, which activates your body to protect you.
- The amygdala sends a warning signal to the island
- The insula receives the message and activates physiological responses
- The dorsal anterior cingulate cortex helps us focus on danger
- The dorsolateral prefrontal cortex is responsible for offering cognitive solutions to the situation. For example, running away, asking for help, etc.
That would be normal operation, but the problem arises when this natural mechanism stops working optimally. That is, when the insula integrates visual, physiological and cognitive information about a stimulus that should not generate fear. Then fear becomes a problem.
The beholder's eye does not necessarily see the truth when it feels fear.
Paul Watzlawick
That is, what scares us in a situation is not so much what is in that reality but what we see in it. We begin to want to flee or anticipate possible danger "unreal", which can become pathological.
Studies have shown that fear is hereditary. That is, by vicarious learning. It is not necessary for the person to have direct contact with the stimulus they are afraid of. It is enough to observe this reaction in a reference person.
At that moment, images came to Nadia of her mother suffering because her husband had left her. From there her mother fell into a strong depression, because what she had always imagined had come true, that her husband was cheating on her and would leave her for another.
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Possible triggers of fear would be the events that played an important role in our past, and not only on a personal level but also because of the history of our lineage.
We are frightened by what we have been taught to fear. If, for example, we observe our parents being scared by something, it is likely that this behavior is perpetuated in us. And in our later generations.
If either parent has a particular fear, the children run a high risk of presenting it as well. It is probably due to a gene and early childhood experiences.
Parents are learned to react with caution or fear and to expect the worst. Deficiencies, for example, in social competence, can also be acquired in the parental home.
In addition, in many cases, people with social phobia were separated from their parents for longer than other children.
How does fear affect your life?
Fear diminishes our joy and inhibits our ability to explore, slowing down our initiative and ability to venture.
Fear can be a bad advisor that leads you in the wrong direction. Feelings often drive your behaviors and attitudes. You create an alternate reality that only exists in your mind and from there, you look for clues that corroborate what you are imagining.
And a large amount of cortisol is triggered throughout your body, generating a constant state of stress throughout your body. Stealing your peace and quiet.
The worst thing about fear is the feeling of loss of control, which can lead to more intense disorders.
How to overcome fear?
We must direct our mental energy to distinguish between real dangers and exaggerated fear and, consequently, make the right decisions.
The hardest task to solve is the basic assumptions of distorted expectations. In most cases, they have originated in childhood and have been consolidated throughout life.
Nadia hugged her partner lovingly and said: “Honey at this moment I was panicking. Because when I felt doubtful about you, the story of my parents came to mind. I love you." She became aware of where her fear came from and that it had nothing to do with her partner, but with her story.
Happy ending…
With Nadia you have been able to see in a sectioned way, what happens when the fear mechanism is triggered. And we are not always as aware as she is. Most of the time, we get carried away by this paralysis and we attack, complain or even end a relationship. Because of the fear.
To get out of fear it is necessary:
- Correct the negative image of the situation and observe the fantasy of what you are imagining
- Look at the situation with perspective, removing all negative charge
- Question the reality of perception
- Tell you a different story
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Article written by Luz Rodríguez